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Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD asked:
Are you frustrated with the ineffective activity of attending events touted to be a golden opportunity to meet business people with whom you can do business? The outcome, more often than not, is a hand full of business cards that are put in a drawer with no follow-up from you or the other person.
Entrepreneurs have capitalized on people’s naivety on how to reach more clients/customers by turning networking into a business – from BMI to Le Tip and Meet-Up. However, people are not conducting more business or making more money than those who never attend a ‘networking’ event. The question is, of course, why? The majority of people do not understand the complex psychology of high-net-worth clients, CPAs or other centers of influence.
Networking events are devoid of your most important client relationships. Networking events are stacked with those who do not know how to network with people of influence. Thus, you are meeting people who are only looking to ‘sell.’ This undermines your credibility as a true professional. You need to consider going back to the old school networking method.
The old school networking method is based on learning the psychology of referrals. You need to learn a set of skills and a process that will help you position your referrals from strength…not weakness. This approach reflects the core attitudes and attributes of top clients. It calms their created referral fears and resonates with their own self-image of intelligence, professionalism and success.
Old school networking begins by connecting with someone who might know the person you need to connect with to achieve a goal, purchase something or gather information.
For example: In 1985, I was on a management and organizational consulting assignment with a major bank in Tulsa, Oklahoma that was going through a merger. My phone rang. The caller introduced himself – “This is Robert Jones (not his real name) I am the President of XYZ bank in Kansas City, MO. Your name was given to me as the best person in Tulsa to contact.” (Flattery works, but be cautious. It could come across as disingenuous. Who gave him my name has long ago been forgotten.)
What can I do for you, Robert? I asked. My wife was recently transferred to a plum job in Tulsa. It was a job she wouldn’t turn down for her career, so, I am the tag along spouse. I am looking for a new opportunity in banking in Tulsa. I don’t need to be, president, head of a division in a large bank is of interest. Our conversation continued. Although, I didn’t know of anyone to refer him to, I suggested he send his resume. His resume was impressive. I gave his resume to two division VP’s in the Tulsa bank. They both agreed he had an impressive work history and they would keep him in mind if they heard of a position commensurate with his background. Three weeks later, I received a phone call from a headhunter in Tulsa, who I knew before taking the consulting assignment. She called because she was looking for a candidate for a Tulsa bank that needed a new president to do a turn-around. Was I the last person she would think to call? No. Why? Because I work in a large bank, I am in a center of influence in the industry she is hoping to find a candidate. Of course, I told her about Robert Jones. Of course, I wouldn’t be telling the story unless it was a home run. Indeed, Robert was offered and took the job two months after his initial phone call to me. August, 1986, I moved to New York, Robert and I kept in contact.
Three years later, Robert called me, because he had done such a good job turning the bank around they didn’t need him and his position was given to a division VP, they wanted to give a promotion. I knew the Tulsa manager of the government managed Resolution Trust Corp., organized to resolve the savings and loan debacle. I suggested Robert contact the Tulsa manager. He got a job in Tulsa with the Resolution Trust Corp. We are no longer in contact, he might have retired.
You have heard the clich
Are you frustrated with the ineffective activity of attending events touted to be a golden opportunity to meet business people with whom you can do business? The outcome, more often than not, is a hand full of business cards that are put in a drawer with no follow-up from you or the other person.
Entrepreneurs have capitalized on people’s naivety on how to reach more clients/customers by turning networking into a business – from BMI to Le Tip and Meet-Up. However, people are not conducting more business or making more money than those who never attend a ‘networking’ event. The question is, of course, why? The majority of people do not understand the complex psychology of high-net-worth clients, CPAs or other centers of influence.
Networking events are devoid of your most important client relationships. Networking events are stacked with those who do not know how to network with people of influence. Thus, you are meeting people who are only looking to ‘sell.’ This undermines your credibility as a true professional. You need to consider going back to the old school networking method.
The old school networking method is based on learning the psychology of referrals. You need to learn a set of skills and a process that will help you position your referrals from strength…not weakness. This approach reflects the core attitudes and attributes of top clients. It calms their created referral fears and resonates with their own self-image of intelligence, professionalism and success.
Old school networking begins by connecting with someone who might know the person you need to connect with to achieve a goal, purchase something or gather information.
For example: In 1985, I was on a management and organizational consulting assignment with a major bank in Tulsa, Oklahoma that was going through a merger. My phone rang. The caller introduced himself – “This is Robert Jones (not his real name) I am the President of XYZ bank in Kansas City, MO. Your name was given to me as the best person in Tulsa to contact.” (Flattery works, but be cautious. It could come across as disingenuous. Who gave him my name has long ago been forgotten.)
What can I do for you, Robert? I asked. My wife was recently transferred to a plum job in Tulsa. It was a job she wouldn’t turn down for her career, so, I am the tag along spouse. I am looking for a new opportunity in banking in Tulsa. I don’t need to be, president, head of a division in a large bank is of interest. Our conversation continued. Although, I didn’t know of anyone to refer him to, I suggested he send his resume. His resume was impressive. I gave his resume to two division VP’s in the Tulsa bank. They both agreed he had an impressive work history and they would keep him in mind if they heard of a position commensurate with his background. Three weeks later, I received a phone call from a headhunter in Tulsa, who I knew before taking the consulting assignment. She called because she was looking for a candidate for a Tulsa bank that needed a new president to do a turn-around. Was I the last person she would think to call? No. Why? Because I work in a large bank, I am in a center of influence in the industry she is hoping to find a candidate. Of course, I told her about Robert Jones. Of course, I wouldn’t be telling the story unless it was a home run. Indeed, Robert was offered and took the job two months after his initial phone call to me. August, 1986, I moved to New York, Robert and I kept in contact.
Three years later, Robert called me, because he had done such a good job turning the bank around they didn’t need him and his position was given to a division VP, they wanted to give a promotion. I knew the Tulsa manager of the government managed Resolution Trust Corp., organized to resolve the savings and loan debacle. I suggested Robert contact the Tulsa manager. He got a job in Tulsa with the Resolution Trust Corp. We are no longer in contact, he might have retired.
You have heard the clich
Those voices inside your head won’t be quiet. All you can hear is your boss telling you to have those reports done by Friday or your daughter reminding you that there’s soccer practice this Saturday or a parent’s voice telling you that they’re going to need you to help them drop off their car at the mechanic’s.
Most of us have somewhere to be each day, not to mention the everyday fire drills we get put through at work or at home. It can feel very overwhelming, and our minds can get noisy. Some of us even have echoes of voices from experiences of many years ago.
How do you deal with all of that internal mental clutter?
Mental clutter is something I’ve worked on my entire life. I used to feel like, no matter what, I constantly had some sort of mental clutter—I always had something going on in my mind. If it wasn’t something new causing that anxious cluttered feeling, it was something from the past creeping back into the present to haunt me. Some days were worse than others, but it was there every day.
And then, after fixing several other parts of my life, I was able to cut down on the mental clutter…
Physical Health
Your mind and your body aren’t standing in separate corners of the the room. It’s much easier is for a physically unhealthy person to experience a poor mental state. The brain is a delicate organ and we have to treat it right. If you are interested in learning more, I recommend Change Your Brain Change Your Life by Daniel G. Amen. I was impressed with this book’s in-depth explanation of the ties between the human brain and the human body.
For me, I notice I feel more anxiety when I have an empty stomach, have not exercised in over a week, eat junk food, and don’t get enough sleep. I discovered once I changed these things—once I focused on my body through diet and exercise and proper sleep—the mental clutter also began clearing away.
Improving my health was an important first step.
Circumstances
If you’re like me, the old me, then you’re saying to yourself that you can’t change your circumstances. And with that attitude, I was absolutely right.
But once I decided I’d had enough of the mental clutter, I had no choice but to to change my circumstances—I had no choice but to remove myself from circumstances that added to my mental clutter.
I stopped associating with certain people, I changed my spending habits, I downsized my possessions. I started with myself, and I changed my circumstances.
Over time, things change, and instead of letting them change on their own, I decided to change those things myself. Some of those changes were difficult, but the world didn’t stop spinning.
I stopped associating with a few folks who encouraged bad habits and the world didn’t end.
I was laid-off in September and I didn’t die.
I changed expectations with family on what things I did, and didn’t want, in my life and they supported me.
My circumstances are completely different now from a few months ago and I’m miles happier. Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not saying everyone needs to quit their job, or take any egregious actions, but please understand that your problems likely aren’t as bad as you think they are.
Don’t be fooled by anyone. You are in control of your circumstances. You are in control of you.
Past Troubles
This was one of my biggest issues: my haunting past. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve let people down, and I’ve made some plain old dumb decisions. But I’ve also been extremely hard on myself, unnecessarily hard on myself, neurotic about the mistakes and bad decisions I’d made.
Sometimes I’d fall asleep replaying my whole day in my head, every word and conversation looking for mistakes or ways to improve who I was.
Now, every time I feel anxiety caused from some past experience, I ask myself a few different questions: Is that situation relevant now? Was that situation even that serious? Am I blowing it out of proportion? Was that situation in my control? Does what that person/family member/friend said actually have any validity or are they just acting out?
To stop being so hard on myself, I had to learn how to discern the things that mattered and didn’t matter, and the above questions helped. I also had to learn what things were in and out of my control. If something was out of my control, I had to accept this fact so I could focus on the things I could control—the things I could change.
What Makes You Tick?
To find out what made me tick, I sat down and drew a vertical line down a piece of paper to mark down on one side “Bad Days” and the other side “Good Days.” For each scenario, “Good Day” or “Bad Day,” I thought of the foods I ate, people I saw, places I visited etc. I couldn’t remember every detail but it gave me a few places to start with when it came to my diet and relationships.
Then, I bought a few tools that helped me with my frame of mind. We all need the right tools to help get rid of the mental clutter. The book I mentioned written by Daniel G. Amen was a great place to start. The book Joshua and I wrote, Live a Meaningful Life, show’s how we replaced bad habits with good ones when it comes to diet and relationships specifically. I even invested money in a counselor for a few sessions to help me get an unbiased opinion on a few things. To get better, I knew I needed to have the right tools. Those tools can be different for everyone, but don’t expect to fix everything on your own.
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Decluttering Your Mental Clutter
NightingaleConant1 asked:
Try Zig Ziglar’s Goals For $1! www.nightingale.com World-renowned motivator Zig Ziglar’s hilarious take on procrastination.
sogoradus asked:
ZIG ZIGLAR and DEDICATION DAY BIGGEST EVENT IN TOWN SEE YOU AT THE TOP! Whooey—1983-ish Zig Ziglar dedicated our “radio studio” when it was begun as a ‘remote’ (or as visionary school Superintendent Dr. Bobby Depoyster dubbed it, a ‘Satellite Station’). At that time, I taught students radio broadcasting techniques in the old WW2 quansit hut. We used a Martii and Yagi to transmit the audio to radio station KZIG (named after Zig) which in turn picked up our little transmission for rebroadcast. We were ‘on-the-air’ with a hodgepodge of rock, country, Gospel, and easy listening music on LP albums and 45′s for 2 hours every weekday afternoon. I remember the manager at the other end telling me if I put any school board meetings on the air, he’d pull the plug at the drop of a hat. 
SEE YOU AT THE TOP! Also recognizable in the video is Dr. Bobby DePoyster, Nelson Wall, Winston Bryant, Jimmie Lou Fisher, Oddvar Berg, Bobby Floyd, Wallace McDoniel (who was one of the first cameramen in the world, haha), and several of my students (at the time). I filmed many audience shots, so you can see how many folks looked nearly thirty years ago! James Mack Street and the Chaudoin Family also appear in a short segment of them playing ‘There’s A Whole Lot Of People Going Home’ as entertainment for the dedication crowd. This is among the oldest videotapes I have left from the original ‘Radio-TV Department’ in 1982-83. The video package was introduced and closed by one of my students at the …
I am getting so many questions on the new Timeline changes coming out March 30th that I wanted to address them on here in case anyone else was wondering…
It’s almost like mass hysteria with the thought of Default Landing Pages “going away”. Let me clear a few things up.
While default tab settings have already disappeared if you enabled the new Timeline, you can still have some control of where people land when visiting your page. Many don’t realize that you will still be able to send visitors to a default landing tab. Facebook Apps
You may not realize this (especially if someone else designed your page) but your current pages was added there because of an application or app. Every application on Facebook has its own custom URL when installed on your page. If you want people to land on your custom tab or default tab, grab this custom URL and add it as the link that you send your click throughs to on every single Facebook link, icon and button you have out there. The majority of your new Facebook traffic comes from an outside source so send them where you want by linking directly to the application. The only time that people will not be able to land on your custom page is if they search your page out on Facebook or click on someone else’s tag. You cannot control this but this will probably be the minority of your traffic sources.
What About Fan Gates?
Ah yes – they ARE still possible as well. Again, you have the custom URL of the application. If they like your page, they will see the page for the “likers” and if they are not a fan, they will see the “fan gate” page that encourages them to “Like” your page! This is awesome for those who spent money to set it up with a designer! Application Thumbnails
Another very cool addition is custom application thumbnails. You can create your own custom images that display on your page. Each application or page can have something different than the others.
A great display of this is on Coke’s page – see below.
You really need to give your Facebook Page/Timeline some thought. We are still working and strategizing on my page to give the best experience too. It is not something I want to rush! Free Geek Hint
Did you know that all posts have their own custom URL as well? You can send people directly to a post to encourage social engagement! Whoa! How freaking fabulous is that shit?!
Ready to go from Half-Ass to Kick-Ass in your Facebook Marketing?
Let’s pump up the volume! I am hosting a 3-class LIVE Facebook training course. I’d love to have you join me to create a kick-ass presence for your Facebook Page. Click here to find out more.Limited space available so grab your seat now.
This week’s guest is Clancy Cross from Development Beyond Learning. Clancy is a leadership development coach and shared some excellent ideas on how to be better leaders.
He can be reached at www.ClancyCross.com or 937-308-7966.
To listen to the replay, click on the podcast widget on the left side of this page.
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